Friends in High Places

I was recently reflecting on how lucky we are to have such amazing friends and family. One thing I love about Terry is that he can always find a connection to anyone, strike up a conversation, and, most amazingly, find a way to keep in touch with that person. I think one reason we have such incredible friends is that Terry makes sure we stay in touch with those important people in our lives.

Take, for example, our good friends from the awesome band lady danville. Terry met Dan and Mikey G through Spring Sing when Terry was the Stage Director and the guys were performing. I got close to Matt when my place of work at the time hired him. Since then, Terry has kept in touch with them, found time to make it out to their local shows, bought their music and other merchandise, and talked them up to literally everyone he meets. Yes, he's a fan, and so am I (along with anyone at UCLA who has met this incredible trio), but, moreover, Terry is a friend. He truly wants to see lady danville succeed. If I wasn't so lucky to call Terry my future husband, I would consider myself incredibly blessed to be his friend.

Terry is one of the most loyal people I know, and he never asks for anything in return. Terry gives just for the sake of being a good guy. Whenever lady danville is playing nearby, he checks our calendar to see if we can make it. Money, convenience, sleep, and food do not matter on these concert nights; Terry just wants to get out and support the guys. He always tries to buy something from the merch table, too - not because he thinks the guys need it but because he thinks their stuff is awesome. He never feels the need to schmooze with the guys, except to tell them their set was incredible, as always, and he never fails to say to me after the show, "Man, I wish we could get out to see those guys more." It doesn't occur to him that "more" is nearly impossible, given that we're both pursuing higher degrees and working full time. He just wants to support.

One of the million reasons I love Terry is he reminds me of my dad in some ways, and my dad is my ultimate hero. And one of my dad's greatest qualities is that he keeps in touch with people. From relatives to friends to people he met just once on a plane, my dad makes the effort where most people would simply let the relationship fade. Terry is the same way. Terry gladly gets in touch with people to whom he hasn't spoken in years to get the scoop and say hi, feels guilty if he misses someone's birthday, and brings up people from the past to make them more a part of our present. It's refreshing to be with someone who so earnestly strives to keep connections with people, regardless of how much time has past or how awkward it might be to get back in touch.

Recently, on our trip to Denver, I took a tip from Terry. I had planned a trip to Fort Collins (well, New Belgium Brewery to be more specific) for Terry's Christmas gift, and I knew that an old friend, Katie, is currently attending law school in Denver. Though Katie and I haven't spoken as much as we might have hoped in the last year and a half since she started school, I connected with her about the trip. Good thing I did! She and Eric, her boyfriend, essentially planned the whole trip for us. From breweries to food to one-of-a-kind excursions, Katie and Eric put together an incredible weekend for us in Denver. We had no idea what that city had to offer, and I'm grateful we enlisted the help of some locals! Following Terry's lead and getting in touch with old friends really paid off.

Similarly, we found another great connection in our engagement pictures. Terry and I met, as you likely know, at UCLA while working for the Orientation Program. Our director, Roxanne Neal, is a semi-professional photographer, and she graciously offered to take our photos for us. She is also busy setting up her own on-the-side photography project, so we were thrilled to be her "models". Rox was more professional than we could have imagined. With her husband and son on hand to assist (and play!), we all headed to Malibu for some gorgeous shots at Point Dume. The five of us had so much fun experimenting with various backgrounds, playing in the sand and water, and gasping at the breathtaking views. We recently met up with Rox to check out the shots, and they are truly stunning. She found a way to make us look natural and in love without being too mushy or awkwardly affectionate.

We are going to head out for a second photo shoot in the Spring, this time at UCLA. The campus holds a truly special place in our hearts. Terry has been a Bruin his whole life, as his parents met and fell in love at and graduated from UCLA. Terry earned his BS from there and is now pursuing his Master's. Terry joined almost every aspect of Student Life imaginable during his undergraduate career, from Residential Life to the Student Alumni Association to Orientation, and he was even on the football team for a bit. I fell in love with UCLA during my own Orientation session and joined the UCLA Spirit Squad during my first quarter. Apart from cheering at games, I was a campus tour guide and Orientation Counselor. We both joined the Dance Marathon committee and attended every sporting event possible, and we sometimes have competitions about who knows more UCLA history or who owns more UCLA clothing (Julie and Terry, respectively). We know a lot of couples who met at UCLA. Two of our good friends got engaged at the top of Janss Steps, and another two friends got engaged in front of Royce Hall. We love this campus, it is truly our home, and we are excited for Roxanne to find a way to capture its beauty and our love for each other in one photo shoot (no pressure, Rox).

Along this journey of being together, getting engaged, and planning our future together, Terry and I have found so many "bonuses" that come with the people in our lives. We love to spend evenings out supporting lady danville, we are excited that our engagement pictures will mean even more because they were taken by a great friend. The day we actually got engaged we were lucky enough to have Heidi and Ed there to document that important moment. When we travel, we have people like Katie and Eric that we can visit and who will help show us around. For the wedding, we already have offers of help on designing the save the dates and invitations, and references to vendors keep pouring in. We are so blessed to know that our friends are so talented, generous, and fun.

This weekend Terry and I drove out to Vegas to see Garth Brooks in concert. During that concert, Garth sang, of course, "Friends in Low Places". While we all sang and danced and clapped along, I thought to myself how lucky I am that our friends and family are as great as they come - friends in high places, if you will. And good thing, too, because we plan to take full advantage!

So here's a big thank you in advance to all of our friends who have considered us a part of your lives. We love sharing in your successes and look forward to celebrating our successes with you. Terry and I are thrilled to know such wonderful people, so please do let us know how we can support your endeavors, from shows to budding businesses to nights out on the town!

Bouquet

I know it's early, but how amazing is this bouquet?

(Rose, larkspur, lavender, freesia, tuberose)

Here is the coordinating bridesmaid's bouquet:

10 Goals for 2010

One of my favorite teachers - and lifelong mentor - from junior high gave me the idea recently of creating 10 goals for 2010. It's along the lines of resolutions, but with a positive twist. Here are mine:

1. Introduce my parents and brother to Terry's extended family, and introduce Terry's parents and brother to my extended family.
2. Finish out my first year teaching with organized lesson plans that I can improve upon next year.
3. Continue working out at least 3 times a week and try new types of work outs throughout the year.
4. DON'T move this year.
5. Continue working at Gabrielino for 2010-2011.
6. Floss every day.
7. Try a new "LA thing" once per month.
   
8. Save money.
9. Get bunion surgery.
   
10. Travel to at least 3 places I've never been (Denver, DC, and TBD!).

I mention these goals for two reasons: 1) I think it's a great idea, which is why I assigned my students to create their own ten goals, and 2) Several of the goals relate to Terry and me as a couple, so they indirectly relate to the blog.

The saving money thing was an easy one to tackle. My brother suggested that we open a joint savings account, which we did! We have talked about combining our monies for some time now, but this is our first real step in that direction. Now, honestly, we already have the "my money is your money" mentality, but we are excited to save for our future, which will simultaneously accomplish goal #8. So we set out for Bank of America (my bank) and, despite some communication issues with our teller, opened an account within thirty minutes. We're hoping to set up an automatic transfer each month to help us put away money.

We are saving for three particular "purchases": our honeymoon, our puppy, and our first house.

The Honeymoon: London and Rome

The Puppy: Old English Sheepdog or Bernese Mountain Dog

The House: We'll see...
As for the other nine goals, a few of them are in motion. My parents are coming down to LA over Easter to meet some of Terry's extended family; we've flossed every day since the beginning of the year (it's a team goal); we're visiting Denver this weekend; we went to Point Dume ("new LA thing" for the month!) this past weekend!

If you have your own goals, please share! It's fun to hear how ambitious people are and what different people choose to focus on in their lives.

Coming soon: Engagement pictures!

Father Frank and a Very Merry Christmas

Introducing...our pastor!

Terry and I do not have a church that we attend regularly yet, so my mom introduced us to the chaplain from her police department, "Father Frank," who agreed to meet with us on Christmas Eve. Sidenote: While Terry and his family are Catholic, my family is not, so we will have a nondenominational Christian service. And while our officiant is called "Father Frank" by those close to him, he is actually a Presbyterian pastor.

Terry and I met Father Frank at Menlo Park Presbyterian Church, a gorgeous church right in downtown Menlo Park. If we hadn't already decided on our venue, I would have looked into having our wedding here! But we were all business at this point, so Frank ushered us into his office. We were immediately impressed by the seemingly infinite amount of books in the towering bookshelves, and we felt right at home in Frank's cozy office. We all chatted about parents, Los Angeles, our engagement, our ideas for the ceremony. Frank walked us through a traditional ceremony and gave us some things to think about as far as making our nuptials unique and memorable. We loved his vision for our wedding, and before the hour was up we had a clearer idea of how the ceremony will run.

We loved Frank's personable demeanor; we feel he will listen to our requests, make the ceremony both spiritual and engaging for our guests, and guide us through the process with ease. We look forward to getting to know him more throughout the next year and a half; we plan to meet with him each time we venture up north so that we will all know each other well by the time the ceremony comes around.

Frank does not require any premarital counseling, but in an effort to get to know us better, he had us answer some thought-provoking questions about ourselves and our relationship. Any couples out there getting close to the marriage thing should definitely take a look and consider answering! We answered separately first and then discussed our answers together. It helps to define some areas of a relationship that are often overlooked in the excitement of "wedding planning" and help prepare you instead for an actual marriage. Check it out!

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting Married

General:

1. What are your positive and negative traits?
2. What was the best and worst thing that ever happened to you?
3. (For Christian couples) How do you define what a Christian is? What role do you expect your faith to have in your marriage?
4. How has God guided your decision to marry your intended?

Family:

1. What are your father's positive and negative traits? Your mother's?
2. In what ways would you like to be more like your father? Your mother?
3. In what ways would you like to be different from your father? Your mother?
4. How would you describe your parents' relationship?
5. What aspects of your parents' marriage would you want to duplicate in yours? Which aspects would you not want to duplicate?

Your Relationship

1. What do you mean when you say you love someone?
2. Why are you marrying your intended? List three reasons in order of importance.
3. What do you like about your fiance? What are his/her strengths?
4. What do you dislike about your fiance? What are his/her weaknesses?
5. What is the biggest problem area in your relationship?
6. How do you resolve conflicts?
7. What is communication?
8. What practical ways does your fiance tell you he/she loves you?

Thoughts on Marriage

1. What do you expect from marriage?
2. What do you expect to give in marriage?
3. Describe what you believe should be the husband's role in marriage.
4. Describe what you believe should be the wife's role in marriage.
5. What is your view of children in marriage?
6. What is your view of in-law relationships?
7. What steps are you taking to make this a lifetime commitment?
8. What steps will you take after the wedding to ensure growth in your relationship?

Financial Responsibility

1. Do you enter this marriage in debt?
2. Have you discussed finances with each other?
3. Is one person taking primary responsibility for the finances?
   

Have fun!